It wasn’t doing it for me.
I’ve been surrounded by alcohol for a good quantity of my life. My parents ran a cafe that became an event space in the evenings, there were many a night that I was up into the early hours surrounded by people mis-using alcohol; enough drama caused by it that it gave me a good view of what alcohol would do to someone when it was misused. Ironically, its probably the best way to teach young people how bad alcohol is for you when bingeing. Stick them in a room after an extremely long day and make them clean up the mess left behind. It stuck with me and has prevented me from ever getting anything other than tipsy.
I never really drunk alcohol anyway. I used to take alcohol to house parties, or if I did I would let other people drink it and rarely ever finish a glass myself. Other than experimental sips with parents or at these parties, my fist actual alcoholic drink was the day after my 18th birthday at one of my best friends birthday parties. I did it because people asked me to, it was expected of me; I wanted to fit in desperately and so after that, at every night out or social occasion, I would order a drink. Sometimes I would just never finish it, or order something so obscenely sweet so that I could not taste the alcohol present.
Moving out of home and spending time with people who socialised predominantly with alcohol caused me to drink more. I did it out of social obligations and wanting to fit in. Eventually I learnt how to mask the taste, and so would drink more than I ever would before in order to fit in. In the end it was bad for my mental health, I began to feel negatively about myself and developed a spiralling lack of self worth.
Making the decision to give up alcohol completely was surprisingly hard for someone who doesn’t really drink it constantly or even really like it. The struggle I was having came with the social stigma of being in my early twenties and not drinking; as I was already missing out on a lot of invites due to not bingeing or partying frequently. The fear was that I would loose the few invites I had or get negative attention if I make the decision to be alcohol free on the nights I was attending.
In the end I had to decide what was best for me and ultimately my wallet. Not only has giving up alcohol an amazing way to save money, especially since the clean eating way of life I am trying to develop has left me with only water and the occasional cup of tea. I’ve saved more money, since giving it up and developed a strong will in how to say no to getting a drink. Ultimately, I decided that having a strong drink is what people do for two reasons; to have a good time and to drown your sorrows. I know that having a drink on a night out isn’t to have a good time, I definitely don’t want to drink it to get into a bad state.
It’s been surprisingly easy in the last two months not to have a drink. Simply say ‘no thanks’ has been the best way of avoiding alcohol; and surprisingly, the jack of judgment towards my decision has been a great shock. Maybe its because in todays society, choosing not to drink is more and more okay. Also, i’ve been trying extremely hard to surround myself by good people and am succeeding I believe. Its amazing how you can create a positive atmosphere around yourself by surrounding yourself positivity. I am working extremely hard to be that positive person and learning a lot about myself in the process.
Looking at the moral of the story, which i strive to make every blog post have, i realise that i need to stop worrying about other peoples perceptions and focus on my own self worth and happiness. Ultimately, if you state your decision with confidence, knowing why you are doing this will mean that no one will judge you to your face, which is often the only form of judgement we care about. Stop letting people judge you, judge yourself, if you dont like what you see why would what other people think be important?
“I don’t judge people. It blurs out the center of my attention,my focus, myself.”