Family bonds create morality; your beliefs and foundation comes from these binds and how you interpret or severe them determines the adult you become and the life you lead. Unfortunately, recently my family bonds are becoming more like shackles and the feeling of clostophobia is beginning to dawn on me. It was a conversation with some friends recently that allowed me to come to the realisation that I have lost a lot of my teen years because my second parent to my siblings and this lack of rebellion, freedom and experience has left me without the drive or skills to snap the shackles. It was evident today; a group of my friends are out on a night out and I’m taking children to birthday party’s, disciplining my own siblings for fighting and doing the bedtime routine.
I know the age difference probably has a lot to do with feeling more of a second mother than a sibling and the occasional feeling of being nanny; after all the age gap is ten and twelve years. There’s a lot of things I do that most people my age would have to worry about and I realise I am probably mentally above my years. I am a grown up and I have been mentally for a while now; it’s time to stop backing down like a child and embrace being an adult. It starts now; with a job interview to separate my finances from my parents, whose company I work for. Next is getting some work experience and internships for the summer in the pipeline; starting to prepare a life away from home like other students in university are doing because I will have to work harder, because it’s harder to separate from family when you live with them.